Character is a subject that Van speaks about in many ways and at many different times.   He tells the story in his sermon “To Reap a Character” of a football game between Waynesburg College and California State College.  The fans arrived, the cheerleaders cheered, the players warmed up. The only problem was, there no officials appeared.  And the rules of the game as well as its practical requirements demand unbiased referees to judge the game and enforce the rules.  For Van, this story captures the importance of knowing the rules, not only of football but also of life.  It reveals the importance of having a means to live by those rules.  And for him, his rule book for the game of life has been God’s word.

          I vividly remember a time as a young man when I was not living by God’s rule book.  Intuitively knowing how far I had strayed, I returned to the instruction of my youth and was reading Proverbs.  In an attempt to reconnect with that yearning for God in my life, I wrote Van and asked him his opinion of how to read Proverbs.  He replied, “Proverbs is a book written by a father to his son to instruct him in the ways of righteousness.  Wisdom comes from not just reading these words, but learning how to apply them.” How right he was...and is.  He lives by these words, instructed by his own parents, by mentors, the examples of family and friends, and by the Holy Spirit.

          Later on, he was talking to me about the pattern of instruction that made such application possible in his own life.  He said,

Character is developed by your surroundings, like in the home.  What goes on in the home, with parents and relationships and what they try to communicate is the foundation of the kind of character that will be out there.  I’m sure the character in my own home was based on the training I got there.  I remember the discipline.  Once I got a job that opened up at a soda fountain in the drug store in my town.  I said to the owner, “All these kids hang around the drug store after school.  Why did you hire me when all these other kids were around here and I haven’t been?

The owner said, “That’s why I hired you.  These others were just hanging around and I figured your mother wouldn’t let you stay down here."

And he was right. She wouldn’t have to say anything because she wouldn’t let me go down there.  She knew where I was most of the time. You develop that with certain background and how you were trained and disciplined.  It was just her word, which I learned to respect.

          From this upbringing he preaches with authority that “Character is what controls a man when decisions are to be made, and temptations come, and pressures weigh down on him.  Character is what a man is in God when nobody else is looking.  It’s what a boy is when he has been trusted and no outside authority is forcing him.”

          As I reflect on Van’s influence in my life, I realize that I could not imagine him doing something different when no one was around than when people were around.   That mark of integrity that all who know him respond to has never required words, though his words often exhorted us all to raise our standard of character.

          I remember him telling us a story of a successful businessman who once played golf with him. Apparently, this man was well known for his colorful language and his unwillingness to curb it for anyone.  Van is not the kind of person who would ever say something directly to a golf partner about such a thing.  However, his very presence on the golf course with this man began to have an effect.  By the end of the game, this man was no longer able to curse, blame everything around him for his poor play, or hurl his golf clubs in anger.  This businessman was questioned by one of the other players in the foursome after they finished as to his change in behavior.  Some time later, Van heard from his friend that the successful businessman had said, “I just felt that I couldn’t be like that in Van’s presence.  It wasn’t that he said anything to me, but something  just came over me.” That something has come over many people who’ve experienced the work of God in Van’s life.

          In my own life, I remember sitting at the breakfast room table with Van and mother in 1969 at the height of the Viet Nam war.  I was one of those angry young men, irate at the direction this war was taking.  And I was letting both of them know my feelings explicitly.  I did not understand the significance of their patriotism, nor the depth of its source as I proclaimed my views.  That encounter must have deeply tempted Van to retaliate with anger as I remember him being stirred up and his face flushing.  However, his words remained calm.  More significantly, they were truth that penetrated my very soul and caused me to think about them many times.

          He simply said, “I think you are speaking out of pride and need to discover humility.” Of course, that only enraged me more, but the truth penetrated deeper...and deeper...and deeper until I got it some years later.  I am sure he was tremendously challenged to have to be so direct because he preferred to tell a story or demonstrate God’s ways through his life.   However, he was faithful to God to bring correction where correction was needed.  And to this day, I thank God for his willingness to speak so lovingly to me when he could have done much worse.

          Van’s examples of character in others were drawn from his life experience.  A vivid illustration that he used illustrates the point.  In a letter to me, he shared this story,

Dr. Robert Campbell, an Elder in the First Presbyterian Church, Augusta, Ga. when the present church building was erected, was stoutly opposed to the introduction of instrumental music in the Church.  When the matter came to a vote of  the congregation, he was in the minority. When the canvassers began soliciting the funds  to buy the organ, they didn't approach Mr. Campbell.  One day he met an Elder and asked why  he was not called to make a contribution. The Elder replied, "Because we knew you did not  wish to have the organ."  Whereupon Mr. Campbell replied, "That makes no difference.  When the members of the church have decided the matter it is my duty to put aside  personal feelings and assist as well as I may.

          Van was the kind of pastor who attracted men like Dr. Campbell around him.  In fact, there was one in Evergreen who had the exact same attitude as Dr. Campbell, and who acted in exactly the same way.

          Such character as a leader is what men and women long to follow.  When Van was in Greenwood during the 1960s, he faced many challenging situations.  He concluded from those experiences that,

You have to win people over.  Sometimes you can’t just do it all at once.  We had a lot of young ministers who came to Mississippi during the 60’s who wanted to change things all at once, and they didn’t last.

I remember one issue we had with our session and I said to them, “I respect the decision you have made.  I don’t agree with it, but I won’t oppose it once it is presented at the synod meeting.”

The session kept talking about it and the decision was made to act on the decision when one man said, “I don’t think we should send it to the synod meeting because we shouldn’t put Van on the spot like that.”  And they didn’t.

There were a lot of things that happened there that would not have happened if I had not have taken that approach.  But, it was just the way I approached things.  Others felt they needed to approach things in other ways, and I accepted that that is what they felt they needed to do.”

As he says, that was his approach and he accepted that others felt they needed to use different approaches.

          Despite his ability to allow others to have different approaches and opinions, he still faced the trials and pressures that ministry brings.  Yet, what characterizes Van is not his immediate response to a situation, or even his thoughtful reflection on it.  He is willing to recognize God’s testing in the trials and pressures and wants to do what God wants.  His own example illustrates the point.

I think of the very worst session meeting I ever had.  I went home that night and said to my wife, “I think maybe we need to think about leaving.”  The next morning at 10 o’clock I got a call from another church offering me a position, and I said, “Oh, no Lord.  Don’t do this to me.”  It felt like the Lord was testing me.  We didn’t leave, and I am glad we didn’t.

          On the lighter side of things, he doesn’t take himself so seriously that he can’t have a laugh at some of the responses he has gotten through the years.  After he retired from Evergreen, he went back to a previous pastorate at First Presbyterian Church in Greenwood, Mississippi.  At the beginning of the service, he used a flashlight to teach the children about Jesus, the light of the World.  In fact, he was pleased with the message and the attentiveness of the kids.   However, one little boy remained behind as the others went back to their seats.  He looked up at Van, and as only young children could do, spoke so everyone in the congregation could hear, “I didn’t know Jesus was a flashlight.” Van enjoyed the laughter of the congregation as much as everyone else there.

          Van believes in using his humor to communicate his message.   The twist of the tale must tickle his funny bone because after he tells his story, he seems to get as much joy out of it as those around him.   He has used one such story from Dr. Ray Jordan to reveal what all know but not all are willing to acknowledge.

There was a  Russian girl who took an  examination under the communist regime for a coveted position. She  was not sure she had  passed, and on one question in particular she was doubtful.  "What is the inscription on  the Samarian wall?" Finally she could stand it no longer and walked  seven miles from  Leningrad to see if her answer was correct. On the wall she found the inscription just as she had written it on her paper,  "Religion is the opiate of the people." Falling on her knees,  she cried out , "O Thank God!"

This understated approach has served him well.   As he told one overly zealous young believer who demanded to know the day and time he was saved, “Before the beginning of time.   And I have lived my life to the best of my ability to be worthy of Jesus Christ’s life, death, and resurrection.” 

          Van’s steadfast demonstration of the life of Christ within has stood as an inspiration to all who know him.  It is a manifestation of that character which was formed in his early years and nurtured as he applied himself to the Lord’s tests.  Such a faith-filled life encourages one, in this case me, to see things in others that might not have been seen without such a perspective.  I had such an insight during one of the seminars I was doing with CEOs in England.

          In that seminar, there were thirteen men and two women.  Only two were my age or older and most were in their thirties.  It was an interesting feeling to be working with them, some sense of edging into becoming a parental figure to these quite successful, dynamic, thoughtful and engaging men and women. I could sense I was internally moving into a new relationship with the kinds of people I am teaching and training.  I was beginning to identify with Van in his role as mentor.

          It was a coaching seminar designed to help them with their employees, but it turned into an opportunity to help them identify core beliefs in their life.  One CEO in particular stood out.  His family had had a large business in South Africa which they sold so they could immigrate to England.  This man could have carried on in that business, but didn’t, choosing to start his own.  In looking at his structure, we discovered that a major part of his life was being a “gift to my father.”

          That really interested me.  It was such an apt description of ways in which he led his life.  It was different in that, unlike many young men, he was not driven to “please” his father, but rather to just be a “gift” to him.  The things that he truly chose to do also happened to be things that gave real pleasure to his father.  Today, there are so many who have struggled with their relationships with their father that this was really refreshing.

          Anyway, that got me to thinking, appreciating, and praying for Van.   Coming out of the 60s and with my father having died, there were lots of forces arrayed against me simply being able to do things that would bring pleasure to a parent.  Fortunately, those struggles seem to be past now.  In thinking about Van and praying for him, there were a couple of things I wanted to thank him for.

          First was and is his relationship with his son, Bill.  Every time that I hear Bill’s been to visit Van, or Van and mother have been to visit him, I feel great, both for my parents and for Bill.  I remember one conversation particularly and  hearing in Van’s tone of voice just how much he valued the time he spent with Bill. And though he might not put words to it, I could hear how blessed he is by Bill’s care, attention, and success.

          This triggered my own memories with Christian, my son, and just how blessed I am by him.   I remember the time when Christian came down to Kailua-Kona from Kings Mansion where he was in a YWAM discipleship training school.  He said to his mom and me, “I have chosen to honor you as my parents, and I commit to do that from now on.” What a penetrating moment that was...and continues to be for me.  I am honored by Christian’s life, and I hold sacred the place that God has given us together in this life.  I recognize that I am by no means successful at never sullying that place, but by God’s grace it can be cleansed time and again.  And that is how I sense Van responds to Bill.

          The second appreciation I felt at that time was the “cover of blessing” Van has given the family.  I’m convinced that God has given family and there are significant dynamics that many do not realize in the family.  One of these is that as the head of the family, the father is given a spiritual mantle to cover that family.  When my own daddy died at age 12, I’m sure that God covered us, but I felt that the covering had been ripped away.    It seemed there was no way that I could do anything about it, and I didn’t see anyone else being able to either as much as we all tried.

          However, Van spread this covering over us when he and mother married. He established a peace in the family that was not simply a function of his personality, but was also a function of his spiritual authority.  Through his and mother’s prayers, all of their children’s lives have been enriched and changed.  They have established us as a family.

          I was struck by the similarity of this sequence of events and the story of the young CEO who was on my seminar.  I see Van as having done those things which are pleasing to our Father in heaven, and that without trying to or having to please him, he is pleasing Him.   I think the peace that Van has, the sense of His presence that surrounds him and fills his home, and the pleasure that all his children take in him is evidence of His love for Van and us through Van.

          When I wrote of these thoughts to Van, he responded in a typical fashion saying,

“I really appreciate what you attribute to me as a father and you have  given me a gift. What I have done as a father to all of you has been in some measure  something I have worked on consciously with what knowledge I had and preached and taught in  my ministry and  in  prayer. It was my mission to help people grow Christian families and consequently I tried to practice it.   But much of it came naturally as we all practiced the faith under God's blessings.”

He balanced his response with his own efforts, his purpose in life, and his acknowledgment of God’s hand in not just his life, but all of our lives.  It is this balance which points each one of us to our heavenly Father and encourages us to know Him more fully.

          In concluding, I want to shift my focus and directly address you, Van with flowers for the living.  I offer my own thoughts on why we have needed and continue to need you as the husband and father in our lives.  You have always been wise about the seasons of your life.  I remember when you chose to retire from Evergreen.  You did so without ever looking back and with no obvious regrets.  And again, when you decided to retire from the pulpit, you did so with grace and dignity befitting royalty, the son of a king.  However, in this season of your life, I want to encourage you that there is no retirement.  You can never not be our dad, and we continue to need you in our lives.

We as a family need you as father in our lives as a dad who...

...first and foremost knows God and is not ashamed to live for Him

...loves your wife and honors her in front of all of us,

...teaches us by your manner of living more than by any words spoken,

...gives generously of yourself, of your love, and of your attention,

...sits as an “elder in the gates” and remains a spiritual force for righteousness,

...inspires us with your wisdom for living from the practical to the psychological,

...loves us, prays for us, and blesses us daily with your presence,

...daily lives the message that you preached for so many years.

You have preached that, “What we need is good men and women, good boys and girls, who have and are accumulating the simple qualities of trustworthiness, loyalty, helpfulness, courtesy, kindness, friendliness, obedience and reverence.  ‘Lay not up for yourselves treasures on earth but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven’ and you will have ‘treasures on earth,’ Christian character.

          You have led us in this way, and it is your legacy that we have chosen to follow you in discovering the true riches of heaven and earth, Christian character.