A freezer of homemade fresh peach ice cream on a hot August evening catalyzed the enduring love affair between a Southern Ladye and a “gentle giant”-- loving, caring, patient, steadfast, humorous, creative, “a Van of all trades!”

     In the fullness of His purpose God brought these two together through His mysterious and gracious providence to blend their love and families into a tapestry of beauty--weaving the threads of responsibility, resources, talents and joy into an incredible masterpiece of life.

     Now that freezer of ice cream, delicious and delectable as it was, was only a foretaste of other good things to come.  Not long after that treat the phone rang at the Ladye’s house and this “gentle giant” asked her to have dinner with him, saying, “So many friends are telling me that you and I are having fun together, why don’t we just prove them right and have that fun?  How about having dinner with me?” The real fun began when the Ladye’s scheming three teenagers greeted him at the front door on the night of the dinner date by singing to the tune of “Froggy went a courting, a-oo, a-oo,” “Preacher went a courting, a-oo, a-oo.” The ice was broken, their “preacher” was taking their Mom out, and it was o.k.!!!

     Marriage the second time around with the right person, can be an amazing adventure of growth in love, learning, giving, and receiving.  It can be likened to the inspiring example of growth portrayed by the poet, Oliver Wendell Holmes, in “The Chambered Nautilus,” a poem about a sea mollusk that lives in a spiral seashell.  Each year as it grows it adds new chambers to its ever-expanding home and so, it gets its name, the Chambered Nautilus...new space, new strength, new beauty comes to its pearl-like shell as the spiral grows and leaves the past year’s dwelling for the new.  In this blended family all of these elements have been given special priorities along with patient encouragement, a heightened sense of caring and inspiration and the joy of living and loving.

     In one of his sermons, “Lonely Virtues and Spiritual Balance,” Van reminds us of the fruit of the Spirit--love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, meekness, and self-control as outlined by Paul in Galatians 5.  “All of these virtues are tempered by Love that we become imitators of God, not just for a family, a Church, or a group, but for all people.”

     Phillips’ translation shows how Love is surrounded by many other virtues and never stands alone.  “This love of which I speak is slow to lose patience.  It looks for ways of being constructive.  It is not possessive; it is neither anxious to impress nor does it cherish inflated ideas of its own importance.  Love has good manners and does not pursue selfish advantage.  It is not touchy.  It does not keep account of evil or gloat over the wickedness of other people.  On the contrary, it is glad with all good men when truth prevails.”

     Christian virtues must be mastered with the inner spirit of faith in Jesus Christ.” Van’s presence in our family has brought a living definition of the reality of Love and its application.

     The patience and perseverance with which this “gentle giant” approaches life is truly legendary.  A testimony to such virtues was borne out early one Fall day when Gene and Katie were preparing to return to their respective colleges, Davidson and Queens.  Katie wished to take her bicycle back to school.  The apparatus provided for attaching the bike to the back of Mom’s old blue Chevy was an exercise in ingenuity, requiring the skills of a master machinist.  After three hours of sweat and determination, Van succeeded in stabilizing the bike to the bumper, never once uttering a word of complaint.  Then off these collegians drove to North Carolina.

     Less than an hour later the phone range and we received an SOS for help...the car had broken down at Mile Marker 17, just outside of Memphis.  What to do?  Van and I headed out I-40 and he began the tedious process of removing the bike and reattaching it to our car so they could continue the trip eastward.  Meanwhile we chained the dead car to our second car and towed it back home.  That day Van became St. Van to us all!

     When crisis invaded the family and Tim had to undergo the bone marrow transplant in Seattle, Van made the decision that it was time to retire from the ministry in order that we might accompany Katie and Tim to Seattle to care for Meghan, then five, and Christopher, three.  Throughout the four difficult months we were in Seattle, our “gentle giant” was always ready to find constructive ways to show love and concern...chauffeuring the children to Kindergarten daily, navigating the tricky lanes of I-5, and ever available to drive Tim to the VA hospital for treatments, even making the trip four times in one day to avert an emergency that had developed in Tim’s recovery.  Though often weary and tired, never once did we hear a word of complaint.

     The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.  He does not faint or grow weary, his understanding is unsearchable.  He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength.

Even youths shall faint and be weary and young men shall fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.” (Isaiah 40:28-31)

     Van Attie Arnold, Van’s mother and guiding influence on his life and character, molded her seven sons with a deep sense of faith in God and a sense of honor and integrity.  Every Sunday morning the Arnold boys, neatly dressed, were taken to Sunday School and at Church time filed into the back row of the First Presbyterian Church in Sylacauga, Alabama.  It was not until he was in high school that Van realized that every family did not attend Sunday School and church regularly.

     Sorrow invaded the Arnold household when his mother died in Van’s seventeenth year.  The sense of loss was profound on the whole family, for the younger boys went to live with an aunt and uncle following this.  Compassion and empathy with the heartache of others was a reality learned from this experience, for Van remembers vividly even now, one of his teachers, Mrs. Parker, who had seemed to be a tyrant in the classroom.  She immediately came to his home to express her sympathy and simply laying her hand on his shoulder and without verbalizing her concern was able to convey far more than words of comfort!

     Helping his father and uncles in the family sawmill and turpentine business built responsibility and resourcefulness into this “gentle giant’s” blueprint of character.  After school hours, he learned to charm the girls by making delicious sodas, always with a cherry on top, working as a soda-jerk in the corner drug store.  Following High School graduation, Van worked long hours at Goldberg Brothers Dry Goods Store in Sylacauga for a year earning his own living.  The Depression was in full swing and earnings were very meager.  His wages were only $1.00 a day after working from 7 a.m. until 11 p.m at night and on this paltry sum he bought a Chrysler automobile!

     With the generosity of his older brother, Clyde, Van was able to enroll in Presbyterian College, Clinton, S.C. Where he became an all-round, outstanding student.  He was chosen as the representative of P.C. In the national publication, “Who’s Who Among Students in American Universities and Colleges,” was awarded the coveted gold “P” as a Senior student for his outstanding service in non-athletic student activities, served as president of the Y.M.C.A. and the honorary Christian leadership fraternity, Delta Chi Alpha, and was commissioned a Second Lieutenant in the R.O.T.C.

     Van’s call to the ministry while in college was a gradual, ordered process based on his own consistent convictions of faith and fostered through the love and faithfulness of his family.  Following graduation from Presbyterian College, Van entered Columbia Theological Seminary in Atlanta where he received his Bachelor of Divinity Degree.  Upon accepting a call to his first church, Woodlawn Presbyterian in Atlanta, he received the highest salary of his contemporary ministerial friends--$1800 a year.

     During his college years Van made a discovery of life changing proportions when a wonderful lady living in Sylacauga, Mrs. Kirkpatrick, recruited him to work for her in Montreat, the Presbyterian Mountain Retreat Conference grounds near Black Mountain, N.C.  Helping Mrs. Kirkpatrick maintain “South Carolina Home,” where she was hostess, he became her handy man par excellence.  He and his brother, Ernest, both began a love affair with this beautiful sanctuary of nature which a friend has called “a bit of Heaven...a gift from God above, a place where hearths and hearts are entwined with Christian love.” For sixty-five years Van has visited Montreat, vacationing with his family there, owned property, enjoyed the fellowship of Christian friends, and found the peace of God in the murmuring streams and mountain paths.

     Our “gentle giant” introduced his “Ladye” to this retreat and his many friends there.  The second and now the third generation of the family has fallen under the magic spell of Montreat’s charm.  Daughters, sons and spouses with grandchildren in tow have become enamored with the cooling breezes, and the fairy tales of the woods.  The legend of the Brownie House developed with Meghan and Christopher McLaurin as they built earthen houses covered with moss.  And behold!  In the morning “the brownies” were leaving money in the houses...and thus the vision for Peggy and Jim’s “Brownie House” was born and has become a reality for all the family to enjoy.

     The trademark of the Arnold brothers is humor...all are fun-loving, ever ready with clever stories, jokes and witticisms.  Early in his ministry, Van began a concerted effort to collect and remember all types of humor and interesting stories which were used to great advantage in his sermons and community talks.  He often used the classic sayings of Charlie Brown from the “Peanuts” comic strip to illustrate a point.  He was frequently asked to be a guest speaker for many community and Church programs.

     Our “Van of all Trades” is a proven creative genius whose unbelievable resourcefulness in every area, whether it is spiritual, mechanical, inventive, or physical, has been one of our family’s greatest blessings and bonuses!  Before coming to Memphis while living in Greenwood, Mississippi, he conceived the idea of building an old-fashioned electric auto.  The frame was made of angle irons and the body of plywood.  The starter motor was from an airplane propeller and the headlights were from an old Ford's oil lamps which he wired for electric lights.  Juice for the motor was furnished by two six volt batteries and two spare batteries.  Using the four batteries the car could run about twelve miles, and with careful driving going down hill might reach ten miles an hour.  This “historic relic” dubbed the “Arnomobile” of “Shehasta” (be pushed) was examined by Dr. Jack Taylor of the Rhodes College Physics Department who exclaimed, “That car is not supposed to run!” Eldon Roark, a Memphis Press-Scimitar reporter, wrote about this unbelievable creation and entered it in his famous Museum of Unnatural Science at the Mid-South Fair.

     The first burglar alarm system at 3470 Waynoka was the product of Van’s ingenuity.  He wired the window screens and installed two “burglar deterrents”...a loud speaker on top of the house that would activate if a screen were dislodged and blare out, “This house at 3470 Waynoka is being robbed” and a warning, “Thou shalt not steal!” Several burglaries were stymied by these devices.

     A beloved pastor and friend in four different pastorates in Atlanta, Seneca, SC, Greenwood, MS, and Memphis, Van’s ministry has been one of faithful, unselfish service, characterized by a generosity of spirit and love, dedicated to the requirements of God,

“To do justice, to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with Thy God.”
Micah 6:8

     Memorable sermons lifting up truths that undergirded every day life have become legendary hallmarks for many in their faith journeys.  “Come Before Winter” was preached every year as the leaves of Fall fell and the chill winds of Winter blew through the trees.  In this classic and notable sermon we are reminded in a graphic way that...

“Every great opportunity of life has its limitations in time.
To wait, to put off may mean Winter will come and it will be too late.”

     One Sunday an enthusiastic member rushed up to thank Van for his wonderful sermon and exclaimed, “Dr. Arnold, every one of your sermons is better than the next!”

     Sermons like “Three Faces in a Mirror” have allowed parishioners the privilege of seeing themselves in a creative way.  Small mirrors were pasted inside the bulletin of the day.  As the sermon progressed they were allowed to reflect 1) on the way God viewed them, 2) the ways others perceived them, and 3) how they observed themselves.

     The influence of such an understanding and compassionate ministry has resonated slowly in the hearts and minds of congregations through the years from his various churches.  A lasting tribute to Van’s influence culminated twenty five years after he had left Greenwood when friends there honored him by naming the Christian Education Building, built during his tenure, The Van M. Arnold building.

     Endowed with the gift of sensitivity for others in the crises and joys of life, our “gentle giant” has been particularly gifted in developing and planning unique services of celebration, commemoration, and consolation through his meditative and reflective remarks and prayers for wedding, baptisms, and funerals.

As the Phillip’s translation of 1 Corinthians 13 reminded us earlier,

The grace of Love is always surrounded by many other virtues and never stands alone.  The fragrance of its presence manifests itself in humility which does not seek to impress or take unselfish advantage of others.

     Van’s consideration for his parishioners and their feelings has been shown on numerous occasions.  Once he was called to conduct the graveside service of a man in his Church whose wife was a Catholic.  Unknown to Van, the wife had called her priest to be a participant in the service also.  When the priest realized a Protestant was conducting the service, he refused to take part and caused an embarrassing scene.  Rather than heightening the tension, Van suggested that he would act as a pallbearer and the priest would conduct the service.  And so it was!

     An unforgettable incident occurred when Van was asked to do “the obsequies” or eulogies at the funeral of August, our long-time and faithful housekeeper, at an African-American church overflowing with her mourning family and friends.  He told of her love for the children, her loyalty to the family and longevity of her service.  Just at the conclusion of his carefully chosen remarks, a piercing scream rent the air and a hysterical voice cried out, “Lawd, bless dat man” along with the amens and hallelujahs of the brothers and sisters...a moment never to be forgotten in our memories!

     It has been said that the roots of the giant redwood trees in Muir Woods and along the coastal areas of California are inextricably entwined together, causing the trees to grow in “family groups.” Burl sprouts growing from the base of the adult trees produce many new saplings to add to the family groupings, very much like the human family. 

     Following the example of Mother Nature with the redwood trees, it is true that the Arnold-Early clan has sprouted and grown ever stronger and closer together and has been immeasurably blessed through the years by the weddings, births, and adoptions bringing spouses and children into the fold.  Our “gentle giant” and his “Ladye” have assumed some wonderful new family members and identities.

     With the birth of Allison we became Van-Daddy and Grand-Ladye.  Van revelled in being a new grandparent along with myself. 

     The international aspect of the family began with Gene’s marriage to Benedicte in Copenhagen and his adoption of their son, Christian adding a Danish influence to the family.  He dubbed Ladye, “Grandie” along with Van.   Following along, Katie’s Meghan arrived safely in Tunis, Tunisia, to bless the clan in 1983.

     Miracle of all miracles, the next year Van M. And Ellen received the wonderful news that their Korean baby, Vanessa, was arriving in Memphis.  A year later, Valerie and Van T. also came from Korea, were brought into the family on a cold and icy night , and were fed bowls and bowls of rice at 3470 Waynoka.

     In June 1986, Christopher McLaurin arrived on his Mom’s birthday as Van and Ladye hastily traveled up I-40 to Chapel Hill to welcome him on his first day of life.  Now the grandparent name of choice was shortened to “Vanny and Janny.”

     Allison’s Brittany arrived in 1996 to begin the great-grandchild era.

     With Katie’s marriage to Andy Little, Andy and his son, Cully, joined the family.

     It has been said that being a grandparent is the “ice-cream time of life” because one has all the fun without the responsibility!  Being a true lover of “ice-cream,” Van has surely enjoyed this “ice cream of life” to the fullest!

     With open arms and a loving heart, Van has embraced every addition to the family circle, his own children, his Ladye’s, their spouses and their offspring--Bill and Margaret Anne, Van M. and Ellen, Peggy and Jim, Gene and Benedicte, Katie and Andy...and our wonderful “Grands,”...Allison and Brittany, Valerie, Van T., Vanessa, Christian and Annmarie, Meghan, Christopher, and Cully.

     William Blake, the renowned poet has given the essence of a life lived in the Spirit in his poem, “Eternity,”

He who binds to himself a joy
Does the winged life destroy
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in eternity’s sunrise.

     Dr. Robert A Raines has written a book entitled, “To Kiss the Joy,” using this poem as its basis.  In it he reminds us that we must share our lives with others, bringing joy, hope and love to every occasion we meet,

     If we hug our happiness to ourselves...if we try to keep our children, our friends, our relationship,...our Church, our family life...as they are now, then one day we will wake up to discover we are hugging a corpse, for “he who binds to himself a joy, does the winged life destroy.  But he who kisses the joy as it flies, lives in eternity’s sunrise.”

Dr. Raines interprets this by stating,

To kiss the joy as it flies is to live in the Spirit; it is to live boldly, immediately, with gracious abandon, daring to risk much, willing to give oneself.  It is to live for a moment “in unison with our dream,” to see the sun shining in the eyes of the smallest creatures, to “taste eternity in an hour,” and the hope always to kiss the joy as it flies.

     Through the mysterious and gracious love of a caring God, Van has boldly shared his life and abiding faith in Jesus Christ, bringing love, hope, and joy into a confused world and lifting the spirits of the many.  But to his family he has always made it possible for us to live special moments together “to taste eternity in an hour, to have the courage to live in unison with our dream, and always to kiss the joy as it flies!”